this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
