Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
