So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
