Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
