You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
