I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
a search helicopter?!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
