i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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