This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
