Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
