im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
