fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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