A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
