dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
