who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize