Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
