Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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