Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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