I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
