I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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