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Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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