Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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