He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
