Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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