i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
