I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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