But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
