That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
