i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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