i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
