If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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