For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
