Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Oh god it's open bar.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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