***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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