Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
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