why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
