Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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