I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
