Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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