Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
