guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
