I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
