If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
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