Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
