just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
