I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
