do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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