I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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