hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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