You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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