you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
