Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
