So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
