you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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