I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
