evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
