in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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