Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Randomize
