Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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