turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
