Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
